I am normally very low key. Don't get me wrong; I love to have a good time, but I don't like to feel like people are looking at me. I'm sure it stems from a plethora of insecurities that have been with me for as long as I can remember. There are areas of my life where I usually feel pretty secure: I am a good wife (most of the time) and am an excellent therapist (most of the time) and a very good friend. So basically, all the things that really matter I feel pretty good about. Yet, it always comes back to the way I view my outside and how I stack up against my athletic friends. It's pitiful, I know. I know all the arguments, but I still find myself there. I struggle with how much I weigh, how fast I run, and the way my face looks.
Well, Saturday my husband and I were invited to a fundraiser. I had a safe dress but needed a new strapless bra. I go out to get this new item and see a very beautiful dress that is very out of the ordinary for me. It is very low cut and shows ample cleavage, which I have a moderate amount. But, then it goes in at the waist and away from my hips and butt. In other words, it was made for my body. Well, on a whim I get it. I figure I have another one to two good years before the boobs go south. I decide I am going to wear it, and I do. I go to our friend's house where we are all having a drink before leaving, and everyone quits talking when I walk in. They all kept commenting on "the dress." I think the fact that it was so out of the ordinary for me kept them commenting; well, it could have been the blinding boobage. One friend asked me when I got the cleavage. ummm, 9th grade. Anyway, as self-conscious as I was I think it was good to step out of who I usually am. I am an attractive woman, and I don't always let that show. I tend to let how I feel about my outward appearance dictate what I present to others. I have always dreamed of being this self confident sex pot (not slutty, just sexy) and I never have the confidence to pull it off. I would like to work on that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
It sounds like the dress was a huge hit. A good step. (I wish I had the occasion and the recovery from pregnancy that would put me in a situation like that sometime in the not too distant future.)
Post a Comment