Out of Shape

Who knew that my run this morning would be completely through sand? That's how I felt. I optimistically put on my power running clothes and headed out the door for a 45-60 minute run. HA! I was breathing too hard at 1/2 mile and had to walk at mile one. Pathetic. The power of the cool workout clothes did not help today.


Oh Crap! How is it that I could do two triathlons, two half marathons, and a marathon this year and be OUT OF SHAPE? (maybe it is the two and a half months I have tapered my workouts down to nothing?) I am disgusted with myself, but I know that I can get there again. I have big plans for the year, but I feel as if I am starting at square one, and I am mad at myself. I know that the best thing to do is move forward and place one foot in front of the other, but I am depressed at my lack of conditioning. Ugh.

Here's to a more dedicated 2009.

Yes, I'm Lazy

I have been very bad about this blog but am hoping to return to it and be more attentive in the new year.

Ah, the new year. Time to look forward to what I want to accomplish this year.

I have already made out a training plan for my husband and myself through June. JUNE people. I bought him a bike for his birthday back in October so that he could compete in some triathlons with me this year. A few times on the bike and in the pool and he was already whipping my butt. It makes me a little sick, but I am thrilled to have someone to train with this year. We will do a sprint (1/3:16:4) and an olympic. I am considering a half ironman. I will know once January is done whether or not I can really handle the training. I have mapped out rewards for myself for 85-90% of completed scheduled workouts for the month. It's stuff that I REALLY want (beautiful workout gear, spa days, etc.) so hopefully I can look forward to that and keep the motivation high. Plus, my husband and I will be training together so that will be great.

October-December are always hard months for me as far as training goes. I've come off of the fall marathon and motivation is low. Unfortunately, food is in surplus amounts this time of year and it is showing in surplus amounts on my body. Damn all the tasty holiday treats! Plus, I was injured in November and took quite a while off. It is crazy how I trained pretty hard for 9 months with basically no injuries, but once I backed off all sorts of things have been hurting. I am "hopefully" on the mend. If only there was a way to have my IT removed......

I'll continue coaching some beginning running programs, so that will be fun. That has been one of my greatest joys - watching someone who has never run before move on to completing their first 5K or half marathon. It has been very rewarding because I am so passionate about running, and feel like I am more of a "normal" runner that some of the other coaches. (not really fast or skinny or obsessed) I have been very proud of all my participants.

Goals I met last year:

Complete a triathlon (I did two)
Complete a marathon (did Chicago)
Run a sub 27 5K (25:40)

Goals for 2009
do a sub 2:05 half marathon (hopefully in Feb in New Orleans)
complete a half ironman
be more consistent in my training

Wishing everyone a happy new year.

Race Reports - Renaissance Half Marathon and July 4th Run

I have been doing coached speedwork for about 2 months now. I decided at the beginning of the year that this would be my year (like I decide EVERY year).

Here's the thing about me - I can kind of be lazy. I train. I push myself past a comfort zone but not too often do I just go ALLLLL out to where I am staggering across a finish line. I don't know if I am afraid or if I just don't have that sort of drive. Anyway, last summer I was pretty steady around 10:00 minute miles for my long runs and we'll say 9:40 for shorter distances if I was feeling good.

So, since January, I have lost close to 10 pounds as well as adding biking and swimming to my mix. My times started to get better. So far my fastest 5K has been 27:58 and 2:09 for the 1/2 marathon.

Well, last weekend I did the Renaissance 1/2 marathon in Jackson, MS. I was hoping to break 2:05. The weather was pretty good considering it is summer in MS. We started the race at 6:30. I ran with my brother in law for the first 5 miles. I was feeling pretty good. Then, things started heading south very quickly. My left IT started hurting. I slowed and let him move ahead. Mile 6 my right IT started hurting. Dookie.... it just got worse from there. I finished in 2:11 so not bad but a little disappointing when you have a goal in mind. But from mile 6 on I just kept hearing that voice that said, "you think you are going to do a marathon. You can't even do a half well." I am going to have to banish the voice.

So, on the fouth of July. The speedwork had really been leading up to this race, so there was some pressure to perform. The course was kind of hilly so that made me nervous. My legs felt really tight from the get go. My goal was to PR preferably in the 26's. Mile 1 was 8 and I held 9's I guess from there. My official time was 25:40! I was pumped. I can't believe I did that. That was the most I had ever put out there during a run.

Now, today, the long run. It was crap. I am hoping it was from the races this past week. Again, the voice.

But, I am so pleased with my PR.

Summer Job

Okay, I haven't really used the term "summer job" in quite a while. As an adult I've had jobs that lasted for 12 months. Now that I am in an education setting I have chosen to work part time for my district during the summer. I have a friend who owns a specialty running store in the area. She said that she needed help this summer and asked if I would be willing to work for her. So here I am, an adult, going back to hourly wages and learning a new set of skills. Needless to say, most of my co-workers are younger- much younger. So far it has been a great experience except that I am pooped when I get home. I work my "real" job in the morning and then work my "summer job" in the afternoon until 6:30 or so. I am learning so much.... I hope that my younger co-workers don't think I'm a dumbass because I ask alot of questions. I only felt the urge to shove running shoes up one customer's ass, so I think that is good. That is probably one advantage I have over the younger co-workers; most of the store situations are not that stressful to me. I have been dealing with special kids and sometimes their "special" parents, behavior problems, angry parents, assloads of paperwork, deadlines, reports.... so a guess 1 guy that makes you pull out 12 sets of shoes and choses the same pair he was wore into the store is really not that big of a deal. And now I have THE DISCOUNT. Pretty cool as long as my husband doesn't spend ALL the money I make there.

I am having to find ways to work in my summer workouts. I had plans of leisurely workouts all summer, but it appears that it will not be that way. So, back to the drawing board. I am through with the stress of training for my triathlon, so that is good. But, I would like to ideally run 3 times, bike 1 time, and swim one time plus stretching and weights. Plus a life in there somewhere. We'll see.

Racing Report - Heatwave Classic

Okay, so this is loooong overdue. I did the mullet man sprint distance triathlon in Pensacola, FL back in April as my first triathlon. I finished in right under 2 hours so I was super pleased.

Moving on.... this past weekend I did the Heatwave Classic which is basically an Olympic distance with a shorter swim (which is great for me). I did discover that there is a reason it is called the Heatwave. It could also be called the Heatstroke because that is what I felt like I may have had if I had been out there any longer.

My swim went extremely well. I couldn't believe how fast I finished. Walked to transition. Got on the bike. Rode, rode, rode. The first 20 miles were fine. I was able to pass a handful of people; I felt strong. The last 4 1/2 sucked. The hills were killing me. Even small hills affect me. This is what I will need to work on in future training for sure. Then, the run. OMG- running is usually my strongest area. Not on Saturday. The heat was oppressive by the time I started my run. The run chewed my butt up. I did finish (with a fair amount of walking). I finished in under 3 hours so I was really pleased with that. I'm hungry for faster times. As soon as I crossed the finish one of my closest friends said, "Wanna train for a 1/2 Iron Man with me?" Ummmm- let me recover from the insanity of this race that took me 4 months to train for. Whew. I cannot believe I am actually considering it. It's official; the tri bug has bitten. I might as well empty out my wallet so it can match my head.

After the race we went out on a pontoon boat that my husband, some friends, and I had rented. It was wonderful. We had the best time together just enjoying one another. I was enjoying swimming until we saw an alligator 25 yds away. The rest of the time was spent aboard the boat. The day was great. Have you ever had those times where you know you are making moments that you are going to look back on and cherish? That was how I felt this weekend. Very blessed.

Training Woes

The IT band has struck again.... very hard. Two Thursdays ago I went for our weekly group run. I am almost always in the back. Everyone else runs between a 6 and an 8 minute mile. I am usually around 9:45. Well that night I was clocking around an 8:40 for the 5 mile jaunt. I have NEVER run that fast for that long. Soooo, needless to say, I was pretty pumped.... until the next morning. My IT band had some things to say to me. So, I didn't do much of anything for a week. It really sucked. My first triathlon is 3 weeks away, and I am terrified. I have been rolling on the cursed foam roller and trying to stretch. I hate being injured.

But, the good news is that the tri gear came in at our Fleet Feet in town where I have some credit. I am buying my first tri outfit tomorrow. How pumped am I? I wish I had enough money to purchase these as well. They are triathlon shoes. I am nowhere near needing something like this, but that didn't stop my shoegasm when I saw them.




Nothing like some retail therapy to help ease the IT pain.

I did finally get on the bike tonight for about 25 minutes then ran another 10. (My first brick). It went well. Then my husband stretched me to the point of tears. Then I iced. Fingers crossed for healing.

The Wedding Weekend

My sister got married this weekend and it was perfect. All the preparation, all the stress, all the emotion leading up to it... it came out great.

My sister is the type that did not love being a bride to be and all of the wedding plan. She had a major meltdown at David's bridal which resulted in me shooing away the bride attendant and throwing the huge ass petticoat out of the changing room. She stressed over the flowers, the food, the invitations... I was concerned that she would not be too thrilled with the actual day. She did basically everything on her own since she lives in a different city.

She had my mother's dress remade. She married in a beautiful historic church in downtown Pensacola. The ceremony was beautiful. Everyone cried. Her husband's boss had arranged for a horse and carriage to take them to their reception. The reception was so great that we finally had to force them to make a faux leave so the remaining guests could blow some bubbles and go home.

She said she wouldn't have changed one thing. She was happier than I have maybe ever seen her which made me happy.

However, the quote of the weekend was from my grandmother. I had asked my cousin who was in the wedding if she had any old blue underwear my sister could borrow. We all laughed and later recounted the joke to my grandmother who replied, "You should have asked me. I have some she could borrow." Ummmm, I hope she was joking, though I'm afraid she wasn't. There are some things that shouldn't be shared- lip gloss, mascara, and underwear.

Thorn in My Panties

I had a boss a while back that told me that wherever I worked there would be a few awesome co-workers that go above and beyond, most co-workers would be adequate, and one or two that would be thorns in your panties. I have found that to be pretty much true.

There is a man I work with that is a major thorn in my panties. He is lazy. He is pompous. He pretends to know it all even though he has not learned one new thing in our field since he graduated.

I won't go into all the details of how it came to be, but just know that he is an A plus ass that expects everyone to stop what they are doing when he is having a problem. Last week he had some equipment go down. I told him he could come to my site and pick up the replacement equipment and I would handle getting the broken equipment fixed. He felt like he should not have to come to my site so he told a supervisor that I was not doing my job. In other words- he tattled on me. WTF? Well, it came back around to me and pissed me off, because my job is not to deliver his crap. It went up the chain of command and he basically was made to look bad in front of his supervisor by our head boss because our boss backed me up. So now he is not speaking to me. Can I tell you that I am shedding tears? I can't believe a grown man who is supposed to be a professional is not speaking to me. I felt bad for him because he really got in trouble, but then the highschool part of me is gloating because he thought he was going to make me look bad and it backfired on him.

So, no longer a thorn in my panties... just sand in the crotch of my swimsuit.

Out of my Box (out of my head)

I am normally very low key. Don't get me wrong; I love to have a good time, but I don't like to feel like people are looking at me. I'm sure it stems from a plethora of insecurities that have been with me for as long as I can remember. There are areas of my life where I usually feel pretty secure: I am a good wife (most of the time) and am an excellent therapist (most of the time) and a very good friend. So basically, all the things that really matter I feel pretty good about. Yet, it always comes back to the way I view my outside and how I stack up against my athletic friends. It's pitiful, I know. I know all the arguments, but I still find myself there. I struggle with how much I weigh, how fast I run, and the way my face looks.

Well, Saturday my husband and I were invited to a fundraiser. I had a safe dress but needed a new strapless bra. I go out to get this new item and see a very beautiful dress that is very out of the ordinary for me. It is very low cut and shows ample cleavage, which I have a moderate amount. But, then it goes in at the waist and away from my hips and butt. In other words, it was made for my body. Well, on a whim I get it. I figure I have another one to two good years before the boobs go south. I decide I am going to wear it, and I do. I go to our friend's house where we are all having a drink before leaving, and everyone quits talking when I walk in. They all kept commenting on "the dress." I think the fact that it was so out of the ordinary for me kept them commenting; well, it could have been the blinding boobage. One friend asked me when I got the cleavage. ummm, 9th grade. Anyway, as self-conscious as I was I think it was good to step out of who I usually am. I am an attractive woman, and I don't always let that show. I tend to let how I feel about my outward appearance dictate what I present to others. I have always dreamed of being this self confident sex pot (not slutty, just sexy) and I never have the confidence to pull it off. I would like to work on that.

Run, Bike, Swim, Repeat

This has been a full weekend as far as the training goes. I ran and swam on Saturday, and this afternoon I met a friend to ride bikes. She wants to try to do a triathlon this summer too. We will probably do some of the same sprint distances and maybe one Olympic distance. We enjoyed a very leisurely ride for about 50 minutes. It was so nice to chat and not really worry about time or how fast or how far. The biking is the hardest aspect for me because I have a fear of traffic, of being slow, of looking like a fool, a fear of the spandex.... Today I just enjoyed the ride and it was great.



This is my new/used bike. Isn't it cute?










I really haven't trained with people before. My husband and I go for group runs with friends, but I am always a good little ways behind everyone else, which is fine most of the time. I have the most supportive husband and friends in the world, who cheer for me and are proud of everything I do. But when it comes down to it, you have to run your own race. I enjoy the time to think or not think; to just be with myself. But, it is great to have someone by your side sometimes so you can forget about yourself for a while.

10 weeks until the triathlon season begins.....

work story

I know that I am posting twice but this was unrelated to the other post.

Like I said in my profile, I am a speech therapist. Part of my job is working with autistic children. I have one teenager that I have been seeing for 2 1/2 years. He is very high functioning so we mainly work on his social skills. He came to therapy the other day in a good mood. This is only the second time I have seen him smile in the 2 1/2 years we've worked together. He loves coming to therapy; he just is very doom and gloom, more so than regular teenagers. He wants to be an animator when he grows up, he wears his pants up to his nipples, he is scrawny, etc. You get the mental picture. This is how our conversation goes.

Me: How are you
Him: great
me: what is going on
Him: I have just been having a really happy thought. Whenever I feel sad I think this thought and it pushes out the negative thoughts

Okay, so I should have stopped there, but I didn't.

Me: So what is it that you are thinking about?
Him: Well, last week I dreamed I was a cartoon character. I dreamed I was making out with a really hot wolf girl. Whenever I am sad I think about the hot wolf girl.

So, basically he is telling me his pg13 sex dream about a cartoon wolf girl. How sad is it that he is not even fantasizing about real girls?

So, I immediately redirect our conversation. I don't want to dwell on the wolf girl thing. It's sad and creepy and hysterical all at the same time. I probably should have addressed the whole fantasy/reality deal, but I just wanted to move on. I am so proud I did not laugh in front of him. That was as professional as I could be.

They don't teach you the therapeutic techniques for that in grad school.

PS- Don't anyone get their panties in a wad that I am making fun of autistic children; I have worked with all types of clients for 8 years and love and respect all of them. Sometimes, you just have to laugh though. Otherwise, it would be alot of tears.

Tri-ing to become crazy

So I have decided that this would be MY year. (well, I really decide that every year) I have decided that I will attempt the Chicago marathon AGAIN and will kick its ass. (This past year when I went to run it, it was called off when I was 16 miles in the middle of hell)

But, that is not enough my friends. No.... I want to try a triathlon this year. Can I run fast? No. Can I swim well? No. Are my bike skills great? Hell no. Do I think that putting three sports that I am mediocre at together is going to come together well? Well, hell yeah. I mean, it's the logical jump in reason. (cough, cough)

I literally mapped out a training schedule that went all the way through the end of 2008. That is insane. No normal person does that. No less than average athlete does that. But, here I am. I am having to accept that I am (gasp) an athlete.

It's strange because I am not athletic at all. I am painfully slow. But, that doesn't matter. I let it matter sometimes even though it doesn't. The important thing is that I am putting one foot in front of the other and persevering. That is what counts. I just have to keep telling myself that.

Long Time no See or hear or whatever

MS Bues 1/2 Marathon

In a word- awesome. One of the best race experiences I have ever had.

I have to give background that I sort of had some low expectations for this race. I am happy to report that it exceeded my every expectation. Awesome crowd support, smiling/cheering volunteers, great music, great food, awesome post race at Jackson legendary club Hal and Mal's.... The course almost kicked my behind, but it was worth it. I had a PR in the bag up until mile 11. Doing the mamaw shuffle on the uphills kind of cut into my time. Meh, what are you going to do? This race was really well done, plus it felt good to get the year off to a good fitness start.

I am hoping to reach some new goals in 2008. I have not decided about a marathon at this point. My Chicago marathon experience was so horrible I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to run again. I still want a marathon medal under my belt.... we'll see. This year I am hoping to conquer the triathlon. Again, we'll see.

I hope to be able to celebrate my accomplishments and appreciate the body I was given instead of focusing on what I can't do and what I don't look like. To have good health is amazing. I need to remind myself of that daily.